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Mah Profile

In Jail Or On The Street Its Mah Wrap Sheet heh heh heh!
I'm 27 years Old
Mah Names "Alon The Felon"
Thats Mah Jail Name.
I'm A Man
No I'm Not one of them.. " Queer as Folk".
Jails Okay For a Felon, Your pretty Much Left alone..
I'm Serving the last 8 years Of mah 14 and 1/2 yr sentence.
(6mths timeoff for pre-court time served).
I got 15 - 20 years..
("out in 15" good behaviour deal)
for Armed Robbery.
I like Babes, Dogs and Sport.
Alon The Felon


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Resources On Family

connect for kids
prision news
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the onion

Other Blogs Ive Read

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Youth Help

Building Blocks for youth
juvenile law center
youth law center
child welfare league of america
childrens bureau

Prison Rehabilitation

prision foreign trust
voting ex cons
friends on the outside
the osbourne association

Would You date an ex-con?
Yes if they were remorseful.
No Way!
Only if my friends were ok with it.
Depends on the crime they commited?
I dunno Ive never met an ex-con before!
Only If I was an Ex con myself!

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Oct 10, 2003
overheated dick - i mean brain

yeah interesting title i know.
Ok so I am back, arent you all just in fucking awe?
Actually considering my state of mind recently going fucking insane without class and so on, i am in a resaonablly good frame of mind.
I am pissed though, but we'll discuss that issue latah.
fuck it, nows as good a time as any-
I forgot in all my infinite wisdom to post my previous posts as publishable!!!
sp hence there they sat not published so no fucka knew i had a broke arm or i was even away.
Smart super crim arent i?

Interesting the dick and stick thing.
It really was my brain yanno the old adage a mans brain is in his dick, well 
mine should be stuck on a stick and left out in the sun to dry up n die seens its been pretty useless of late.
I think its crawled into a new space in my groin and forgot too open the vents and its suffocating. maybe thats it my real brains overheated via dick suffocation
ahhh any excuse why my brain dun function at 100% when it should.
Okay so now you all know i'm  really a waste fo mental space i'll leave you with this thought.
If its not broke, don't fucking fix it!


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Oct 2, 2003

I broke my arm, ahh the beauty of life as it pulls you up one minute then shoves you down the next.
Most would say hah!, you deserve it, some would feel sorry for me, "me" personally it was a waste of a decent trip too the Inhouse hospital for xrays, a cast, a quick fix shot and a you'll be fine in about 4 weeks when we take it off.
Stupid really, waste of government funding, i coulda handled it with a stick and a bandage, hahaha, yeah now i am filling your head with bullshit, the fucka hurts like hell.
 I fell over my own damn feet collided with a wall fell back onto the floor and my arm was bent the wrong way.
Its small break, meanial and really has no effect on me except I won't be at school for the next week until i get a cert to allow me too. I am hammering out this one  before the plug gets pulled haha.
I shall be back soon with only  one arm and a mind thats faster then only 5 fingers.
If your a resident reader, patience. its a virtue if ya don't have it then,  fuck it nothin i can say or do to change that!


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Sep 26, 2003

ahh melodically i type hitting the keys in a rythmn only i can hear, shut out of life on the outside, is rythmn and melody really interwoven only within the mucial instruments we possess to express our hidden talents, to drive a beat  into the minds of those who will listen?
fuck no!
I make music in my mind constantly, even driven by it at times, the simple things like my heart breathing late at night, the drag on a cigarette, footsteps, sounds we rarely hear much less interpret as music or a rythmn.
hell without it my brain would be dauntingly stgnate!
I'm gun leave you on this thought.
Let you to listen to your own world and make your own musical score from it!


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Sep 22, 2003

Here I am thinkin again, bout the ironic side of things.
before i got caught i was all about how free i was and how i was above and beyond anything, especially help n then it makes me start thinkin bout how things coulda been different had my life been different had i been a stronger in character and shit!
Ironically just before i got caught the last time, and charged i was planning my escape from that life, looking for a new path too a new one, amazing i guess maybe the new coulda been worse, maybe someone was smiling upon me and this time i have in prison is helping my life not hindering it.
It is, too a point, well in as far as my change of drive and goals are concerned.
I never considered myself a bad humanaitarian or person  so i don;t think i have changed a whole lot in that area!
In here thinkin is about as dangerous as one can get towards oneself, although we do have alot of cons who do try n do emselves in at times.
I heard a whisper through the jail that one of the lifers on Death Row, hes been here bout 11 months is due for his first appeal hearing this week, so alot of reporters  hanging out n about, we usually get no yard privs when this occurs until after the hearing then they usually move them to the other facilty close by. The one specifically for them that are waiting execution on the row!
I guess you don't want a speedy appeal at times, especially if you are actually
yanno - guilty.
Some of the Row lifers in here are lucky n get the comforts for a few years before moving them, naturally it depends on the time, the crime, appealate court and the usual  government bureaucratic bullshit that comes with everything in here.
Whats interesting to know is that some of the lifers aren't citizens they don't even qualify for residency yet they will more then likely die in this country, I know from past lifers who've miraculously got their greencards not long before their stay was up.
I guess when your sentenced to death they'll do anything to make sure your numbers up,  whats ironic is he had been waiting on greencard approval for over 8 years prior to killing them 3 men in his frenzied rage. I guess you cant have everything you want until your good as dead.
Its kind of like all of life when you think about it. Them ironic things that tend to happen to us like lottery numbers coming up that we've been picking for 20  years only to find we'd forgotten to put it in this week, that kinda shit!
Ironic the bastard will probably go through the whole appeal process and his number will be up earlier then a lifer whos been on the row for years, the way they plan executions and who goes on what day will always cause me to think more then i should. i wonder if there truly is a plan! The kinda plan not even us humans can see as logical or understand. A plan bigger then all of us!

ahhh well enough thinking for one day, time for me to get my act together grab a cigarette and get my ass back over to the study rooms.

signed- Alon

Comments (3)

Sep 21, 2003
Evil in A Nutshell.

We have several evil bastards in here you don't want to go near much less eyeball or cross.
I steer clear of that part of the system, prison and world, its not only safer but smarter.
I was asked recently by a fellow inmate bout what i thought evil represented in here.
I said in a joking manner, when you cant  pull your dick because the guards eyeballin your door n
thats just pure evil, we both chuckled.
I then hesitated and said in all honesty,  I think this prollie sums up my thoughts:
In here, Evil is a thought  of power not a thing of destruction and the thought of evil can be thought of as thus:
Evil has every advantage but one- it is inferior in imagination.
Hes still pondering my Evil thought and I'm still laughing about the dick pulling answer.
I guess that could well make me EVIL!


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Sep 20, 2003
My Personal Ten Commandments.

  1. Thou Shall not make others feel guilty for my crime except those who really need it.
  2. Thou shall not masturbate more then is religiously neccessary.
  3. Thou shall only eat when the food is not moving off the plate by itself.
  4. Thou shall think only evil thoughts about thyself and some volupcious brunette beauty who gets stuck in thy jail cell by accident for a night and doesn't charge!
  5. Thou shall only try and kill the rats that eat thy cigarettes.
  6. Thou shall only smoke when thou has not got anything else to do with thy hands (or see commandment two)
  7. Thou shall only write in thy blog every 3rd day (unless by popular demand means doing more)
  8. Thou shall not drop soap or anything slippery whilst naked  anywhere in the prison.
  9. Thou shall not talk about Link and  carrotised teeth anymore.
  10. Thou shall decide at a later date whether or not these commandments are worthy of my attention.


Ahh don't ya love anything that you have to follow, rules rules rules..

I wrote my ten coz today we had about 10 rules changed in here and i sit here wanting to read the information governing the new changes and government bullshit accompanying them as well as our rights as prisoners.. hahaha yeah we get them every now and then!

Ahh the contemplation of it all I guess i should make that decision grab me a cigarette and start the tedious chore while i have the time.

Not like I have anywhere to go tonight . haha ha

We have to sign a legal document stating we read and understood the new  regulations and submit it too not only the Jail warden, but also our lawyer gets faxed a signed copy.

Or we can contact our lawyer have him read them over with us and then sign using him as a witness for the state if everythings kosher.

Decisions decisions.

I'll get it over with and see if its worth making him a phone call to see want bargining power one might just have if one doesn't like these NEW regulations.

I'll be back after the literature feast i have before me.



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Sep 17, 2003
Useless Dribble

I'm supposed to be doin a paper on why i believe more kids who commit suicide are boys as opposed to being girls.
The only thing i could think of literally was that we didn't communicate very well and had no emotional stability in the sense that we didn't find it easy to cry and express our feelings.
Chicks seem to have this ability much easier then us men.
(shortened by 3 pages for blog purposes)

I started writing it then we have to reference our thoughts, and see how we did in comparison to  the professed giants of the pysch world you know them published professional literary pyschatrists, that make a squillion out of knowing it all about the human pysche.

This is kind of hard as the Library here only accomadates so many books, they borrow from universities or get donations of old books no longer circulated for us, so one of the reference books we use to read up on this is in scarcity around here and we generally have to wait on it.
Usually its only a couple of hours sometimes overnight before its available too the next in line.
I'm next So
Here I am Waiting,
just another hiccup in this place, never enough of something and we all want it at the same fucking time.
Moving right along to a different subject,
Ya ever notice how we all have our own quotes or quotables?
I find them convenient in conversation at times but more so in the thought behind them or what the situation was that caused them to come out with such a quote.
prison is a good subject matter for quotes in varying degrees, most the typical how many cuss words with a painful demise can you squeeze into a sentence in reference to an incident that everyone will associate with.
In most cases I barely acknowledge those kinda quotes existance when someone utters them outloud, they have no deep meaning or need other then to pass the time and give some freak in here a semi surreal laugh for 10 seconds.
However we even in here we can manage a few quotes that stand the test of time.

Prison only exists to save us from society.
When ya eat prison food at least your guts has something in common with ya mouth.
Hell his fart stank so bad the wardens ass caught fire.
Escape is nothin but  foreplay.
The last time i thought about eating one of them my penis threw up.
The row is the only place you can shit without making noise.
Time doesn't heal all wounds the longer your in the more scars you end up with.
Suicide watch, thats when you all hear someone drop something in the showers and noone bends to retrieve it.
After dinner mint, thats what the cook calls his little lacky boy.
Hell has no fury like a horny con without lubricant.

Most of those I can relate too,
Theres plenty more of them we use but hell
most are pretty disgustin as we are definantly nothin buta  low life bunch of cons.
I have a few i like that aren't really related to prison but to life in general.

When ya come to the end of a rope, tie a knot and hang on.
The best advice is Don't give it.
Do not negotiate out of fear.
Forgetting is a habit.
No Two People remember the same event the exact same way.
Fearing death accomplishes nothing.
When you are in a hole stop digging.
When you think hard about it, your really a hostage too life.

I have more but hell i could be here hours writing them all out and tryin to remember
all the ones i pretty much agree with , use, or  live by when i can.

On a more fucked up note,
I was watching Link today, he was eating a carrot and the veins in his head were pulsating like
he had something crawling through his skull.
The i laughed to myself thinking no wonder the fuck has that damn lock tattoo.
When link eats his whole head is like a theme park, everything moving at a rapid pace. hell if he had pet bugs that were small enough some of them veins could be a great coaster ride.
Link has amazing teeth, when most if us eat a carrot, we don't really have an orange issue in our mouth, when he eats a carrot he grins orange for days even after brushing.
Kinda like them red pills when ya went to a dentist as a child they made ya chew then brush so you could see all the parts you missed, thats the same as Link and carrots.
takes 2-3 days of brushing before that fucker isn't drooling agent orange all round the damn place.

Ya think anyone tells Link hes got a bad case of orange stain happening
not on your damn life!!
We don;t even talk about it we just all ahve that smirking face happening and look at each other knowing we are all thinking the same thing.. Link needs to stay the fuck away from carrots hes no bugs bunny.

maybe one day one of us might get some of that dutch courage and approach the big bastard and mention his carrot issue.
Personally I don't see that happening in the next few years not while I am here anyways.
ahh well cigarette time...

'Alon The Felon'

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Sep 16, 2003
Rat Shit

Rat shit is such a contraversial subject in here.
I have to profess I'm about sick to fucking death of seeing the stuff lying about in my cell n on my bed when i come back from the morning rituals.
However I kinda think its a sign, the more droppings your dealt with the more your actually going to survive this hell hole.
Rat shit:  i am thinking theres more human rats in here then there is furry ones although a few of the human ones are rather furry.
Not too mention some of the rats that shit everywhere actually shit less then all us humans and are cleaner too.
I dunno call me insane but seeing rat shit on my floor leaves me feeling that little bit more secure then if i find none.
Its a good indication that your cell is going to be REALLY cleaned out when you don't see that ever
delightful shit floating on your floor bed or sink.
Come to think of it, I've never not walked into a shit factory in here, and yet some of the guys who never had rat shit issues are no longer here with us.
They are resting among weeds and insects in the prison cemetary, some were actually taken elsewhere by relatives.
ahhh ... thank god for rats!
Lights up blows a cloud of smoke into the new pile of shit's direction,
I wonder how much he had to eat to leave that amount of shit?

-signed 'alon the Felon'

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Sep 15, 2003
Cold Stress Syndrome

Laying here i think about how cold people must get without a house to live in.
Then i think about all the ones with a house and they are still so cold.
In todays world you'd think in western society's that no-one should feel cold nor be homeless,
hell i guess some of the old timers wouldn't have it any otherway cept to be out on the street rolled up in a cardboard box covered with the latest edition of the New York Times or Wall Street Journal.
I have often wanted to have their simplicities,  tucked away in an alley with 30 other drunks or homeless not sure exactly where they are positioned but know they are there by mere sounds smells and so on. Not sure if you'll wake without a few pieces of precious newspaper missing, wondering if the soup kitchens have something decent to eat and wondering how ya gonna make the day pass without incident.
I guess as simply as their lives seem in reality they are more stress ridden then most top notch white collar employers or other such stressful job descriptions.
I guess in many ways "excluding the cold and heat" thats what its like in here at times.
The stresses of prison definantly outweigh the stress i had in society.
Your constantly watching your back, waiting for a kill or mame or other such harshness, thinking about when you shower and with whom, what your gonna do if something happens you didn't plan on,  wondering if anyones out to get you, wonderin if anyones talking to someone else about you, wondering if your on the wardens or governers shit lists, wonderin if your job situation or study situation will be revoked or altered, wonderin if tomorrows foods gonna be edible or posioned or both, wonderin if that bit of blood you saw on the yard walk could mean somethings brewing, wonderin if them noises at night that wake you in the pitch blackness are as a result of something you said or did or could be aimed at you in another way, Wondering how the fuck you could cope without a fucking cigarette at 3am in the morning.
Every noise has its own story and every story has its own endin and in here everyones got that endin with or without their own story.
Its interestin I guess but i am so wired in here i sleep little and i'm constantly watchin and listening. my senses at night have become finely tuned to every whisper, i think that quote bout "its so quiet you could hear a mouse get a hard on" definantly applies to me, i  could hear that son of a bitch crackin 10 mile away!
Your eyesight becomes acute, your hearing more so and your gut instincts are definantly more alert and powerful.
I pretty much enjoy this side of jail to a degree it definantly gets your senses alight!
In any situation thats a fucking good thing, in here its essential for not only day to day grind but survival and not only from jail and its offerings but also from yourself.
The story the ending it all comes down to yourself really and how you deal with the stress and such shit in prison.
I think at times like this when i am cold to the bone shiverin and thinking the ac is too fucking high again, i know my senses really kick into gear, my thinking doubles its normal routines and i get so alert- to the point of feeling like a killer guard dog watching over a gold mint or some shit!
one false move einstein and i'll nail your ass!

Ahh well, i'm lightin a cig and relishing in the simplicty of my minds offerings tonight..
"stress" what the fuck is that anyway?
An excuse to take time off work,
have a mental breakdown,
have an affair or fling,
get a new car or boat,
better still a divorce,
stress, yeah its a dandy with a fucking a/hole reputation,
you mention stress in this world and people run..
Thank fuck for prison
Theres nowhere for em to go!

ha ha ha ha ha

'Alon The Felon'

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Sep 14, 2003
Wreckless Endangerment

Yeah fuck it!
Times Are tough in here, Today 3 men or can they even named that in the way mortals do man?
Yeah they were hard asses wanting more of the pie then their were pieces, I aint never seen so much fucked up shit in my life and yet i feel almost relieved they are dead.
Nothing but troublemakers from one of the chins, gangs!
Nothin worse then stealing from ya man when he gives ya it all, but see eventually being stabbed in orifices over and over becomes a little tedious at best!
They were stupid to themselves and they paid the price as heavy as it was.
Stealing drugs in here gets you killed, hell stealing a cig gets you fucking killed.
They all 3 of em decided it takes god to not protect them and they stole from their keepers, just enough shit to get by they cried as they were forced to drink enough opium in homemade alc to kill twenty men much less 3.
Nothing worse then 3 men begging for their lives using their dicks as bargining power, tells a tale in itself without even thinking hard about their demise!
Ahhh the old laudanum. if your not familiar with the term it means opium mixed with alcohol.
Naturally the shit in here is raw as fuck and hard to come by but good for pain and especially for knocking off shitheads who wanna steal from ya stash, I don't do drugs i never ubnderstood their beauty nor their lure maybe i'm smart maybe i'm not. Moonshine is nothing compared to the shit they distill and what in here, amazin in it, even the alcoholics can get a deal in here, hell the last distillery found and destroyed in here was 3 years (at least) ago, i dunno how they do it or where but they sure as fuck get away with it for the longest damn time!
It seems the booze or the drugs sure helps alot of guys get by, most forget or try too, some are so hooked on lab drugs they dunno what the fuck they are even puttin in themselves, some are basically lab rats in here going through home made potions like water, most lab rats get good privs like cigs or better cells, immunity protection you name it, from their keepers, most end up dying from overdosin or being poisioned by the shit they are drinkin, snorting shooting, smoking or inhaling.
ahh yeah fucked up day, does life get any better
 3 men dead all for a few crumbs.
Lets face it they died in a bad way for the wrong reasons but realistically they were the doomed type anyway. No helpin them lot.
Time ya would think could save a soul, time in here saves the soul then kills it like it never was worth savin anyways!
Ahhh well, i'll pray for their souls maybe god has a new plan somewhere out there in his land, maybe not!
who the fuck am i too care or criticise.
Time for a cigarette and watered down prison coffee!

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