In Jail Or On The Street Its
Mah Wrap Sheet heh heh heh!
I'm 27 years Old
Mah Names "Alon The Felon"
Thats Mah Jail Name.
I'm A Man
No I'm Not one of them..
" Queer as Folk".
Jails Okay For a Felon,
Your pretty Much Left alone..
I'm Serving the last 8 years
Of mah 14 and 1/2 yr sentence.
(6mths timeoff for pre-court time served).
I got 15 - 20 years..
("out in 15" good behaviour deal)
for Armed Robbery.
I like Babes, Dogs and Sport.
Alon The Felon
Nov 29, 2003
Just wanted to let everyone know the review went ok.
They discussed my journal here in length, wanted to know how i felt about certain comments from people, my reactions and shit like that.
You guys made a huge difference with your opinions and comments and tags, they saw the journal as a positive outlook and medium for me.
so rest assured i'm still going to post when i can and i look forward to more from you guys too.
Ok I'll update more about the rest of the shit they had me go through in class on Monday.
Nov 28, 2003
Happy Thanksgivin Day
yeah even in Jail we get turkey and ham and mashed potatoes and corn.
We get apple or pumpkin pie.
I mean its not that great a feast and its not even that tasty.
Jail food is alot like hospital food, everything tastes bland and the same.
but its food so whos complaining.
I just wanted to enjoy today and be thankful for certain things in life.
The first is: Being thankful to be alive - growing up the way i did - i'm thankful a lot for this small fact, i should have been dead many times.
The Second is: Being Thankful that i have the opportunity to study and make something of myself for rehabilative release, so i can also make a difference in other childrens lives.
The Third is: Being thankful for the ability to post my thoughts here, its been a lifesaver.
The fourth is: Unk, hes like the father i never had, we have become close friends and guided souls in here.
The Fifth is: for having god in my heart and soul, I know i'm still mkaing things right with him, but heres where he should be in my life.
The Sixth: I'm thankful for you guys who have become my incentive, without your input, hopes, prayers, thoughts, and positivity i probably wouldn't still have this journal nor enjoy life again as much as i do.
Hope ya day was thankful and memorable.
Nov 21, 2003
I just wanted to say a big thankyou to all the warm hearted people who visit me.
Your words of encouragement truly touched and warmed my heart.
The positive hope you shared with your comments has given me a new outlook on hope and now i feel positive, i have new lease on life and feel encouraged to achieve the best I can come monday.
I hold Up my hand in union with you all and say
"All for One and One for All"
We can all achieve greatness with hope, encouragement and a positive outlook.
Thanks--- your all worth my life.
Nov 20, 2003
This week I go under review,
thats when shrinks and other doctors, a prison review board member all watch me for 3 days, they ask me questions about my crimes, they watch me function in the prison on video during various activities, they interview me, i do logic and intellect quizzes, answer personal questions, I also write a small story on a subject they give you and some other stuff.
Its horrible being scrutinized like this, its worse then a thousand men watching your every move. Just knowing the smallest thing could make them deny privledges that could shorten your sentence or cut you from the educational programs, their review is important enough to keep you here longer without any chance of rehabilitation.
I just find the whole thing unnerving.
It means when i log on to this pc and type into my blog, if possible that week they'll be watching, I know they will go here anyways, its in my file that i type into this forum, so i sit here thinking as I type what could all the things i've typed mean too them.
i thought about reading every entry n deleting them if they seemed a little bit over the edge but then that defeats the purpose of the reason i have this blog in the first place. i need to think about this more.
I begin my review on monday i probably assume they have already been here as they would I'm sure have to familiarize themselves with my case.
Ahhh-- fuck it- i cant undo my thoughts!
Leaves this as it is, i'm not in the mood to be here today!
Nov 13, 2003
I woke this morning before the sun rose and for the first time i guess in as many years i decided to give nature a chance and i tucked myself up onto the solitary chair in my sell squatting like a bird as I peered through my 3ft x 1ft cell window at the sky.
The grey overshadowing the walls here like a sleeve as the fog slowly rose from the earth to meet the spectacle that lay before it.
The sun began breaking through the heavens so Huge and majestic as she rose to her glory. The brilliant Reds and Oranges Conjuring up rays of exquisite facets of jewelled light as everything Moist began to glisten at her arising touch.. The site of a sun rise on such a grand day even from this small vantage point was so amazing i suddenly felt my cheeks begin to wetten as tears rolled down them, i swallowed hard and tried desperately to contain myself, the joy at having experience such a moment overshadowed by the realisation of how cruel my life had been to not only myself but others. Here i was a tortured soul watching something i took for granted for years like a baby seeing its first glimpse of its mother.
I felt a piece of me die this morning as another piece of me gave birth and i knew that life could only get better for me, the sudden urge to want to be out of here was so overwhelming i fell backward. Sprawled on the floor I vicariously dreamed i was lying on a lawn in a world far away, watching this small mans eyes dart back and forth as he looked out at me through a tiny window in a jail cell... as the sun rose to greet me i felt its warmth and i said quite loud: "That poor man is missing the best part of this sunrise, That glow on your skin as she touches you with her warmth and beauty"
The tears rolling off my cheeks into my ears made me realise i needed to get up this was something prisoners didn't do. i needed to contain myself and get it togteher before they made rounds to let us out for the days rituals.
I got up, my mind now back in my real zone I had forgotten the spectacle of this amazing feat, the sun rising to greet a brand new day.
Its amazing how something we don't even think about is really a trusted treasure we rely upon every day.
I pulled myself to my bed sat down, head in my hands and as i looked up i saw Unk looking through, he smiled and said, I guess you met My morning princess today huh?
I nodded, he nodded back and walked away as my cell door opened.
It almost felt good knowing someone else had met her - yet at the same time i felt a pang of jealous abandonment... i wasn't sure i was ready to share her with anyone yet. This was my first meeting, she was perfect and new and my finest moment, an experience i shall carry a lifetime with me although
Unk I believe understood this moment, hence the nod, he himself had been here a long time and he'd probably met with her many times.
He is an amazin old fella and if i was gonna share this moment with anyone it would definantly be with him.
I wiped my face on a towel headed out my cell and caught up to Unk, he patted my back with his weathered hand and we both smiled as we made our way down the hallway to breakfast!
Nov 12, 2003
migraines we all get em right?
ok maybe some of us get tension headaches which are equally annoying and painful, others get headaches an we shovel down tylenol like its candy and they eventually go away and some of us are unfortunate and we get sinus headache which if left too their devices are worse in my opinion then a migraine.
obviously migraines take on more then one form some are definantly worse then others.
Well for me i've never had any real headache migraine issues, I had sinus headache once about 5 years ago which i figured back then was gonna kill me, it turned out i was allergic too some allergen found in this plant growing near the yard, they removed it.
The only other headache issues i've had have been when my heads been knocked around by a few dozen inmate fists or beat up on street corners in the "day" but other then through injury i've never been a suffer until recently.
I started out getting these spots in my eyes then came the pain at first it seemed to meander about inside my head then dull to a numbing effect then it seemed i had pins and needles and it was gone until I bent my head forward or viewed any form of light whether it be natural or not - i realised at this point i had more then a regular headache.
After the 3 days of puking up food - not that that is a bad thing in here considering the food is like puke anyway, i decided to get a slip to visit the resident surgery and get looked at.
They gave me this injection i felt like i was walking on stingray shit and skating into the freezone but i could still feel the pain. the doc told me i had a migraine and it should pass within 24, so i went back to my cell and there i lay until that 24th hour, he was right- after the shock my body had been jolted i was fine.
Back at study reading all that fine print, chalking up those agregate points 3 days in and again i started seein them spots and then again the pain hit me and the pukin began.
I figure i had got something - yanno like meningitis or some bacterial nasty, cavorting along within the world we live, breeding along from human to human.
So back to the Doc i went and after another injection he decided to run bloodwork and also bring in an optomertrist (for the eyespots).
I go back to my cell for that wonderful 24 hour period and again I feel like normal except my bodys trying to catch up with my brain still.
I venture to class the next day where I am yanked out to see the eye doc, it required about 30 min of testing, reading charts viewing pattersn letters numbers and shit through his mechanisms (let me say that cold air they blow at ya eyeball, if nothing makes you wanna look after your eyes that shit does, you have no control to stop that and my only thought when i felt it hit was SHIT that coulda been any little projectile and bam thats my vision gone! I realised after the split second my brain kicked into protection mode it was just air and it was part of the test.) Once he was done he happily told me that i needed reading glasses that my vison was not 20/20 and he doesn't know how i lasted this long with the headaches.
I smiled and said well doc when you lead my life reading wasn't a required option until recently, he laughed and said well i guess glasses are!
So he ordered in some basic frames and the required lenses and here I am the new four eyes of the prison community and migraine free.
Imagine Links surprise when i told him this morning i could see carrot stains on his teeth!
Nov 1, 2003
hahaha we dont have it really but we do try.
We save a few things and trade em shit like that,
some of the screws bring us candy and share it around but we dont get dressed up and trick or treat like you guys do.
Some of the screws even go as far as dressing up like Reed he came as a car accident victim with his intestines hanging out everywhere, head beat in. Sicko he is hahaha
Drake came as some evil lookin devil character.
One of the guys got into the spirit in A block he painted the doods number on his shirt and hung a sign on His door with Kobies Bedroom on it.
Yeah we see the news once or twice a week if you can be bothered you get to watch highlights so we know that basketballer is in trouble. I haven't watched it in forever with study like it is. Things with my schoolin are hard now i am strugglin but its not that i dont know the answers its interpretin them for paper yanno.
If that sat down and asked me this shit i'd be an A student. Writin i dont believe is my thing so this blog stuff is definantly good for someone like me.
After the guards dressed up left and the candy and trade offs were done, we watched a movie madness medley 3 movies in a row all horror ones. The ring, Feardotcom and Willard.
They made good choices i guess, The ring was pretty good. Feardotcom just made me want to find the site and log on and willard, well rats dont bother us so it was nothin.
Then lights out and bedtime.. man ya think its bad in here on a regular night for sounds.. hahaha the fuckers were makin noises in cells on purpose, like scratchin noises, hoot sounds(owls) ahhhrooo (woof calls) they were doin em faintly but loud enough so theyd echo through these walls hahaha
fuckin A's haha
Sleep is essential coz ya never get much of it, last night it was definantly no existant, even though we all knew the noises were fake they managed to set the senses alight and we spent the rest of the night wakin to every noise haha ones we've been living with for years and even know.
Ahh the beauty of the mind. dangerous thing that it is!
This morning we all look like crap and are sleep depraved but its just another day here one good thing i guess is everyones too damn tired to try anything so i expect the day will be quieter then a church mouse gettin head.
Happy Halloween to you guys out there I hope yours was as eventful Hahaha "sarcastically i smile with that jailbird glint in my eye, - as i stroll out the door back into the world of survival"
Oct 28, 2003
Tamed But Not Domesticated
I have this dream its all about things after i get out.
My lifes taken almost a 360 turn since this arrest,
Yeah I'm a much quieter dood these days, i certainly have my priorities in
a complete different order and i have without a doubt been tamed, surely in the immediate sense my mind no longer thinks the worlds against me etc!
I Dream of leaving Jail moving into a place and there I am happy, i am working, i am doing the things that most of society do each day and yet i cant keep a fuckin dish clean, nor vaccum so the carpet looks vaccumed, my bed always looks wrinkly even though its made and i cant remove that little bit of mildew that keeps coming back in the bathroom. My clothes always look like they were never washed..
I am totally not domesticated and yet i know how to do these things.
I let it affect me to the point i am rubbing the walls in the bathroom so hard to remove that mildew i am now painting them with my own blood.
This is the poin at which i wake up.
I cant dissect this dream with an open mind, I dont know why i am having it constantly and its driving me nuts..
not that being in here doesn't already do that to ya.
Unk says most of us dream about things that have happened in here or will happen, like rape, beatings, murder n such and here i am dreaming bout my bathroom not been clean enough.
I dont get it, maybe its a sign that i am tryin to hard to keep my nose clean in here, maybe its a warning that when i get out i dont need to be God to have a regular life, maybe its a look into my past about my hands not being clean "why i'm here" i have no idea.
Sometimes i wish i was a dream interpretor then i could at least simplify its meaning without wondering too much about it.
They say dreams are part of your subconscious self and that your subconscious self is the true you. If thats the case then I'm a great guy who cant clean a fuckin thing hahaha..
Ahhh well maybe it will come to someone out there what my dream means feel free to enlighten me with your thoughts..
I'm outta here i see a marlboro with my name on it.
Oct 24, 2003
Ahh to the forefronts of this post.
Firstly i wanna thank all those who come here and read my thoughts,
I never meant for that to happen, ideally this place was just somewhere I got approved to come too so I could has out n type out my shit and relieve a little inmate stress.
However, i sit in awe reading some of the posts you guys have made and wonder to myself
how you can type things like:
friday's child » Great to see some updates - you had us all on pins & needles wondering what was up with you. Ditto what Pirwz said - you were missed.
Pirwzwhomper » we all missed you!
PJRocks » nice blog..very insightful!
Dit » Wow ..Your writeings are soooo interesting...i hope u give all this some thought..This cud be ur way of life when u get out..The things u have to say and the way u put them ..are just un-believeable to me..Wit the talent you have,..YOU shudnt be in there!
Obviously these people have entered my world and for whatever reasons can either relate to my thoughts, or just like reading my shit.
hi alon.. i really like ur blog.. can i make a link to mine?
Posted by Brandon @ 10/24/2003 06:21 AM PDT
Hey, Alon. Just thought I'd tell ya that I'd miss your entries, too. You're a hella cool guy.
Posted by Melissa @ 10/21/2003 08:55 AM PDT
ok i tried to leave this in your tag board but it cut me off...damn thing anyways..lol..ok..as i was saying...i dont know you..but i can honestly tell you this..if you were to die tomorrow..i would really miss reading this blog..miss the words of wisdome you write in here...u have given me alot to think about on several different occasions..and have even left me saying to myself...:now why didnt i think of that"...your a great person.....love reading about you...take care..until next time...Melissa
Posted by Babs @ 10/21/2003 06:03 AM PDT
I think you're the best Alon. Good luck sweetie.
I never thought i could have an impact on anyones lives not even in the smallest of ways.
I think i have come to the conclusion that if i died tomorrow i would be missed because simply put "of my way with putting pen to paper, (in an idealogical sense), I think I would be remembered for being Real!"
Thanks to you guys you made my thoughts clear on this matter.
I would also imagine myself twenty years from now in a small house in a town watching my last appointment walk out the door, for the day, smiling to myself knowing i am trying to make a difference in that young man or womans life.
Hell kids are so important their minds are sponges they absorb everything, trouble is they dont always have a good filter, some have great filters where they filter out all the bad shit they have absorbed and walk away form it, others arent so lucky. Its no easy task trying to get them to head in the right direction, but we at least have to try.
I wish on many a night when laying here locked up like a bird in a cage that my parents had been there and someone really had taken time out of their lives to steer me into the right choices, then i remember hey fuck you moron, if they had been there, maybe just maybe you wouldn't be here, which in all reality would mean i wouldnt be doin these classes to earn a degree in child sociology or pyschology to be able to help them.
I believe my fate was to end up in here so i could better myself and with that, be able to help the troubled children growin up in this lousy place we call our world.
Ahh i feel enriched or something. i need something to blow that away like smoking a cigarette.
I tried quitting that shit in here once and got nowhere and i finally figured out its not so much the addicition thats bad its really what you do to others who dont smoke while your busy blowing that shit into their faces and so on.
Humans are so selfish, we admit it on more then one occasion. My favorite is, smokers sayin im not selfish, i am always helping others and doing my "charity" lending a hand or giving bit.
Yet they quite happily sit in a resturant and smoke while the table behind them has a tiny baby in one of them carry seats sleeping peacefully while they eat their meal. You and them are sitting there watching that smoke waft right into that babies lungs. but Hey! your not selfish, hahah
See now in the real world i would never have even given this thought a process much less absorbed it and realised what a selfish prick i am for having done this and more then once I am sure.
Jail really does make you process and think alot more then you ever have in your life.
Okay a small token of grattitude to all my devoted readers or non readers thanks for making me want to share more with you guys. You people are the inspiration one needs to continue sharing ones mind.
I'm sorry i cant visit all of you and your sites in person, i don't have full internet use and anysite/ even page must be approved before allowable viewing. i wish i had a few small freedoms, some of ya sound like your great humans with alot of common sense, and I am sure I could learn from you.
Last but not Least
Posted by Rree @ 10/24/2003 08:19 AM PDT
how did you get involved in in such a life when you seem to have such talent?
The usual cliche's "I could tell you to go back into my blog and read it from day one. theres several small snippets of how I ended up in here."
but hey, im in a reflective and type of ok mood today so here goes just for
Rree's- viewing pleasure:
My first name Alon is spelt unusually its prounounced just like alan or allen cept spelt with an o.
I think my mother was cracked off her face when i was born, and she just misspelt my name on the birth certificate.
I actually know she was cracked off her face, I was addicted to the shit when I was born.
Luckily or not so luckily depending how you view it all, she overdoesed when i was 3 my father was gunned down when i was 5 and my granmother who was sickly got me til i left home at 9 and joined the gangs of DC.
I'll leave it there the rest they say is history, and I'm proof that my history was pretty messed up, Only thing i never did to fuck myself was drugs, but whats the diff i still ended up in ere without em!
They say where ya from can cause ya to go bad o the inside we'll thats b-s too i left Dc before i was old enough to find my dick and know what to do with it, it wasn't my origins fault, it wasn't coz i was addicted to anything, sure i was poor, from a messed up childhood but wtf- it was simply part of my world n life! I had choices i juz never picked the right ones!
I was a smart kid, i was intelligent and i guess even with that behind me it just made crime look easier. SO yeah here I am. I pulled a few felonies and got caught the last being this armed robbery.
Stupid as can be but as i professed earlier, i think its fate i ended up where I am today.
As someone once said, its not an easy job, but someones gotta do it!
and here I am tryin to just get through it best way i can.
Oct 20, 2003
so - i finally published them
i know i forgot that point even after mentioning it.
You all can stop the rumblings of boredom and "lets say shit to him now."
get over it, I had too!
Today was a freak day again
The dood who slops shit into our eating trays had a stroke
I dun think i ever said anything to him cept, yeah thanks in all the years i been here.
I don't think he even knew my name, i found out his was Reg, but hey! that dun mean shit too me.
The dood was polite, slopped ok and never missed a day since i been here, but seems no one really knew him
We have a service for the religious types today for him, they get to mourn or pay final respects and all that. I guess its a good thing too touch something we all know of here "god"
well I'll miss him he always had one of them glad to see ya faces even though ya never coulda remembered it in a crowd you always felt good about it when you saw him.
I don't think i really remember all that much about him cept for the thoughts i had when i saw him for my 3 meals a day.
Not many did
Death is a funny thing, i always wanted to be remembered for something and yet i think I'm really justa Reg,
I won't be remembered for much at all, except maybe that glint he gave when he said hello or something yanno that kinda thing.
I'm not an oppressed victim or crim or anything, i am far from notorious and i really am simple in thought and theory and even logic.
No bells and whistles here.
I think i could be remembered for my disposition,
i am a good natured type most of the time.
ahh something for me to think about,
Maybe you can offer advice here, what would you remember me for if i died tomorrow?
i'll add to this one.
its definantly thought process required and right now i'm processing very little.