Entry: Its not an easy job! Oct 24, 2003

Ahh to the forefronts of this post.
Firstly i wanna thank all those who come here and read my thoughts,
I never meant for that to happen, ideally this place was just somewhere I got approved to come too so I could has out n type out my shit and relieve a little inmate stress.
However, i sit in awe reading some of the posts you guys have made and wonder to myself
how you can type things like:

friday's child Great to see some updates - you had us all on pins & needles wondering what was up with you. Ditto what Pirwz said - you were missed.

Pirwzwhomper we all missed you!

PJRocks nice blog..very insightful!

Dit Wow ..Your writeings are soooo interesting...i hope u give all this some thought..This cud be ur way of life when u get out..The things u have to say and the way u put them ..are just un-believeable to me..Wit the talent you have,..YOU shudnt be in there!

hi alon.. i really like ur blog.. can i make a link to mine?

Posted by Brandon @ 10/24/2003 06:21 AM PDT
Hey, Alon. Just thought I'd tell ya that I'd miss your entries, too. You're a hella cool guy.

Posted by Melissa @ 10/21/2003 08:55 AM PDT
ok i tried to leave this in your tag board but it cut me off...damn thing anyways..lol..ok..as i was saying...i dont know you..but i can honestly tell you this..if you were to die tomorrow..i would really miss reading this blog..miss the words of wisdome you write in here...u have given me alot to think about on several different occasions..and have even left me saying to myself...:now why didnt i think of that"...your a great person.....love reading about you...take care..until next time...Melissa

Posted by Babs @ 10/21/2003 06:03 AM PDT
I think you're the best Alon. Good luck sweetie.

Obviously these people have entered my world and for whatever reasons can either relate to my  thoughts, or just like reading my shit.
I never thought i could have an impact on anyones lives not even in the smallest of ways.
I think i have come to the conclusion that if i died tomorrow i would be missed because simply put  "of my way with putting pen to paper, (in an idealogical sense), I think I would be remembered for being Real!"
Thanks to you guys you made my thoughts clear on this matter.
I would also  imagine myself  twenty years from now in a small house in a town watching my last appointment walk out the door, for the day, smiling to myself knowing i am trying to make a difference in that young man or womans life.
Hell kids are so important their minds are sponges they absorb everything, trouble is they dont always have a good filter, some have great filters where they filter out all the bad shit they have absorbed and walk away form it, others arent so lucky. Its no easy task trying to get them to head in the right direction, but we at least have to try.
I wish on many a night when laying here locked up like a bird in a cage that my parents had been there and someone really had taken time out of their lives to steer me into the right choices, then i remember hey fuck you moron, if they had been there, maybe just maybe you wouldn't be here, which in all reality would mean i wouldnt be doin these classes to earn a degree in child sociology or pyschology to be able to help them.
I believe my fate was to end up in here so i could better myself and with that, be able to help the troubled children growin up in this lousy place we call our world.
Ahh   i feel enriched or something. i need something to blow that away like smoking a cigarette.
I tried quitting that shit in here once and got  nowhere and i finally figured out its not so much the addicition thats bad its really what you do to others who dont smoke while your busy blowing that shit into their faces and so on.
Humans are so selfish, we admit it on more then one occasion. My favorite is, smokers sayin im not selfish, i am always helping others and doing my "charity" lending a hand or giving  bit.
Yet they quite happily sit in a resturant and smoke while the table behind them has a tiny baby in one of them carry seats sleeping peacefully while they eat their meal. You and them are sitting there watching that smoke waft right into that babies lungs. but Hey! your not selfish, hahah
See now in the real world i would never have even given this thought a process much less absorbed it and realised what a selfish prick i am for having done this and more then once I am sure.
Jail really does make you process and think alot more then you ever have in your life.
Okay a small token of grattitude to all my devoted readers or non readers thanks for making me want to share more with you guys. You people are the inspiration one needs to continue sharing ones mind.
I'm sorry i cant visit all of you and your sites in person,  i don't have full internet use and anysite/ even  page must be approved before allowable viewing. i wish i had a few small freedoms, some of ya sound like your great humans with alot of  common sense, and I am sure I could learn from you.

Last but not Least
Posted by Rree @ 10/24/2003 08:19 AM PDT
how did you get involved in in such a life when you seem to have such talent?
The usual cliche's "I could tell you to go back into my blog and read it from day one. theres several small snippets of how I ended up in here."
but hey, im in a reflective and type of ok mood today so here goes just for
Rree's- viewing pleasure:
My first name Alon is spelt unusually  its prounounced just like alan or allen cept spelt with an o.
I think my mother was cracked off her face when i was born, and she just misspelt my name on the birth certificate.
I actually know she was cracked off her face, I was addicted to the shit when I was born.
Luckily or not so luckily depending how you view it all, she overdoesed when i was 3 my father was  gunned down when i was 5 and my granmother who was sickly got me til i left home at 9 and joined the gangs of DC.
I'll leave it there the rest they say is  history, and I'm proof that my history was pretty messed up, Only thing i never did to fuck myself was drugs, but whats the diff i still ended up in ere without em!
They say where ya from can cause ya to go bad o the inside we'll thats b-s too i left Dc before i was  old enough to find my dick and know what to do with it, it wasn't my origins fault, it wasn't  coz i was addicted to anything, sure i was poor, from a messed up childhood but wtf- it was simply part of my world n life! I had choices i juz never picked the right ones!
I was a smart kid, i was intelligent and i guess even with that behind me it just made crime look easier. SO yeah here I am. I pulled a few felonies and got caught the last being this armed robbery.
Stupid as can be but  as i professed earlier,  i think its fate i ended up where I am today.
As someone once said, its not an easy job, but someones gotta do it!

and here I am tryin to just get through it best way i can.



November 22, 2003   11:28 AM PST
Alon, I'm a firm believer in "nothing happens by chance". From the sounds of things, you may feel your circumstances fall in that catagory.

I'm not trying to get all preachy on ya, or on your case (I have no room). People think I'm nuts when I say this - but thats their problem.

I think God almighty allows certain things to happen to some of us, to straighten our lives out. We are responcible to make our own decisions, but sometimes for some of us for whatever reason, God takes a shine to and he tries to steer us the right direction.

I Got you in my prayers.
October 27, 2003   07:24 AM PST
Wow, I am actually close to tears reading your answer. I had only found your blog that day and didnt realise that there were earlier entries.
I cant even begin to imagine having the beginnings of life like you have had. Im amazed that runnin with bangers at such an early age you didnt come to a much worse fate.
However in sayn that like you said to try and put a positive spin on being inside that you now have the opportunity and the time to take that talent that you have and put it to a greater use.
I will be continuing to read your entries.
I wish you all the greatness in your future and that you will eventually be able to spread your wings and soar to the greater heights that you want to achieve.
October 25, 2003   03:05 PM PDT
wow...alon I must say that i enjoy reading your thoughts whenever i get the chance. after i started bloggin, i was lookin through other blogs and yours caught my eye. I sat and read from the beginning..every last word, every last thought. I agree with all the others that have left comments in here. you are making a difference..and if you were to die tomorrow, you would be greatly missed. most people don't see how much they are loved and cared for, even though we have never met nor seen you.
I'm 20 years old, and a lot of people dont see where i have a problem with stuff...they usually say something along the lines of ' your from canada...your life has to be perfect'
which is far from true. dont matter where your from, we all have problems, and I find that reading you blog has helped me a great deal. It touches me so becasue i now see how peole can change while serving time and getting time to think to themselves. I wouldn't say that i am the casue...but more or less the reason there are 2 men in jail. I can only hope that they too are trying their best to turn their lives around like you are...trying to help kids so that they wont go through what you have went through. keep on writing,and i'll keep on reading.
and oce again i beleive that i speak for many of us when i say thank you for so many of your thoughtful words which have touched us so deeply and will forever be a part of our memmories.
like i always say...peace, love and bannana bread.
October 25, 2003   10:57 AM PDT
Wow, after reading this post, I am really glad I decided to pop in. It is easy to see why your words touch so many people. You have the right mind frame, just keep up with it, stay strong. As you can see, you have more people who care what happens to you than you may have thought. It is odd how just reading words can cause that. You have the support- just don't forget that...
October 25, 2003   09:54 AM PDT
You speak of your parents taking time out of their lives to guide you, then say they wouldn't have guided you by stating that only being in jail could possibly guide you...I hope I guide my son well so that he can find an outlet for his creativity and become a productive society member without jail. For you and the way you were forced into succeeding through jail, kudos, but I think I am more with you on your parents raising you properly than with you could only succeed through jail.
October 25, 2003   05:42 AM PDT
Wow! I don't know what to say. I found this blog a couple hours ago. Your way of writing really opens a persons eyes. My brother in laws (2 of them) are currently doing 7 years for the youngest and 14 for the oldest. They aren't to keen on communicating with me and my Hubby because we are the reason they are in prison right now and not running free in another state. But me being a cops daughter never really interacted with "criminals" before I got married, find this VERY insiteful! And the way you write just opens my eyes to what my brother in law's are going through. I am very glad I found this blog! The more I read the more I want to read! You are a very intelligent and wonderfully spoken man! Use that to your advantage! And thank you!
October 24, 2003   08:38 PM PDT
i thought my problems were bad. you make me think about all i should be thankful. Your writings are real great. keep on bloggin
friday's child
October 24, 2003   02:52 PM PDT
Alon, you make me grateful everyday that I somehow escaped serving 20. You blog may have been intended as a means to vent but it apparently has touched many of us in ways you never thought it would. I admire that you're on the path to help children. They are our future and they can be detered from going the wrong way by those that have gone before them. Locked up and still growing. They can imprison the man but not his dreams or his soul. I honestly believe you can rise above the misfortunes of your childhood and come out of this a better man. I'm pulling for you!
October 24, 2003   12:39 PM PDT
Alon...i have always thought that god worked in mysterious ways...and he has our lives all planned out before we are even born..and every hurt..every love that is lost...and all things we do..are all apart of that plan..a road we need to travel to get us to the place we are supposed to be..its a learning path..and if we make mistakes along the way..then hopefully we learn from them..and i agree with you...u are there for a reason...you had a bad child hood..and you are now there..but are going to make a difference in some other childs life...so they can learn from your mistakes..i truly admire your love for other children...and i know that if my child were ever in trouble or needed someone to talk to..i wouldnt hesitate to bring them to you..your an awesome person...keep your chin up..and never give up.
love ya

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