Entry: How Do We Protect An Inmate? Dec 29, 2003

I hope everyone had a great Christmas.
It was quiet here, I got a care package with cookies, candy and some magazines to read, which was great, courtesy of the correctional facilty donors.
Bless them all.

We had some form of turkey and vegtables with gravy, apple pie and icecream.
Simple but it was actually bordering on the nice side. traditional yet modern (hey how often do you get the chance to gobble turkey in jail ---- for some I guess plenty of opportunity.)

Now to a complete turn around of events,
I am somewhat amazed that in this day and age with Hep C, Aids and so on..
that this is still occurring on a daily basis and there seems to be no reform or help in sight for prisoners, nor is there any real counselling or pysch help for the victims of such abuse:

I read this with complete horror - - -

Written By A Cell Mate To Human Rights:
I've been sentenced for a D.U.I. offense. My 3rd one. When I first came to prison, I had no idea what to expect. Certainly none of this. I'm a tall white male, who unfortunately has a small amount of feminine characteristics. And very shy. These characteristics have got me raped so many times I have no more feelings physically. I have been raped by up to 5 black men and two white men at a time. I've had knifes at my head and throat. I had fought and been beat so hard that I didn't ever think I'd see straight again. One time when I refused to enter a cell, I was brutally attacked by staff and taken to segragation though I had only wanted to prevent the same and worse by not locking up with my cell mate. There is no supervision after lockdown. I was given a conduct report. I explained to the hearing officer what the issue was. He told me that off the record, He suggests I find a man I would/could willingly have sex with to prevent these things from happening. I've requested protective custody only to be denied. It is not available here. He also said there was no where to run to, and it would be best for me to accept things . . . . I probably have AIDS now. I have great difficulty raising food to my mouth from shaking after nightmares or thinking to hard on all this. . . . I've laid down without physical fight to be sodomized. To prevent so much damage in struggles, ripping and tearing. Though in not fighting, it caused my heart and spirit to be raped as well. Something I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for. I know my crimes. I know I deserved to be punished by the law for driving under the influence of alcohol, I should have learned my lesson after my first arrest for it, but I was young, naive and stupid, {I still am young, although I now feel like I have the body of a 50 year old, no longer naive and less stupid},  but I don't believe I deserved this abuse or cruelty on top of the sentence already given to me by the law.

J P (full name witheld) US (state withheld) Corrections Facility

Sure I know this shit goes on, I've been lucky to have been pretty much left alone,
I've also been lucky to have made a few friends that are highly respected in here  which has kept me out of the gangs, clans and  being a bitch wife to some abusive a-hole.
Fortunately they consider me to be Unks Bitch. Its a good thing in reality, I'm left alone hes highly respected so unless some newbie comes here with a will to die then I'm pretty much safe, well as safe as one can assume to be in here.
 Sure Unk and I share moments, but nothing sexual, just emotional.
We are tight sure, but we also know our boundaries.
Sex, Yeah We miss it, Yeah we talk about it,
But nahhh its something you can either live with or live without,
God gave us a pair of hands that are rather useful and I discovered a long time ago what I can do with them hands if the need arises.
Unk and I always agree on this outlook ---- Play with ya own or get off the jungle gym!

I guess people forget that once a crim is locked away that he endures things no-one would ever dream  could happen, the unimagineable.
I figured in jail locked up with all the guards and a warden I'd be safer then on the streets but in reality its a Meat market in here and theres nowhere to hide and even less places to run.
You take each day as it comes and hope that you survive it long enough to see tomorrow..

 A DUI chargeis definantly not derserving of the treatment this man endured. In fact its more criminal what happened to him  and what the "law" allowed to happen to him then the crime he himself committed in the first place.

Okay enough Depressing shit, i just figured while everyone was ringing in the new year someone may just toss out a prayer or thought for other people/inmates  like JP.
Happy New Year  To All Those who visit here...

Bring it in With Pride, Certainty, Honor and Respect
And  just think about JP before you get behind the wheel of your car
after consuming any amount of alcohol.



January 8, 2004   12:23 PM PST
Let me just say I cannot comment on this issue more than already said. It makes me feel lucky not to be in jail and just cling on my illusion that not every human being is a bad one. All the best for 2004 for you and your beloved ones. ;-) Tomas from Amsterdam
January 4, 2004   07:13 AM PST
U would think that the justice system would have some sort of allocation process & levels of security depending on the severity of the crime committed therefore to some extent eliminating the possibility of this sort of thing happening. Ensuring that the crims on the higher scale are not in with those on the lower end of the scale.
I woz sickened by the thought that this person has been put into general population.

Alon, I am glad that you are not in that prediciment. I am glad to hear that you had an enjoyable Christmas & New Years.

Take Care Mate
January 1, 2004   09:47 AM PST
i HAVE to post after reading this, i had underwent a long depression period in the past and few could really understand how the victim feels, especially when AP's case is easily worse than mine. I feel for him and thank Alon for bringing this up so your readers can know how wicked this world has become.
To Alon, AP and all alike, I pray for you.

(Sam19, Singapore)
January 1, 2004   04:40 AM PST
i'm gonna die, i read this site all the time, rarely comment cuz well i don't know why but listen.
i'm a RN in Ohio, I get word that I have a "disqualifier" on my fbi record, aka, i cannot work untill this shit is straight.
ok, i know i have false imprisionment and battery the first charge was dismissed second was adjucicated.......
but still i cannot work as an RN untill i get re-fingerprinted, etc......
the board of nursing is OK with me.
i basically have a d omestic in tampa florida.
i am gonna cry. this was 8 years ago and i need help. i will contact a criminal lawyer when the holidays are over. my tampa records have been emailed to me for 23 bucks.

i wanna cry and totally lose it, what a great start to 2004, uggg
Michael C
December 31, 2003   11:56 PM PST
Along with everyone else, my prayers truly go out to you all. Having done a little time myself(Western State penitentiary)a real shit hole in picture Pittsburgh Pa. I know a little about what you have to do and how you have to immediately change from who you are, to who you never wanted to be in your worst nightmares. It's why some guys don't want visits from their wive's and kids. And sometimes that change ends up adding some more time on an already stiff sentence.
But speaking of wives and kids, I'm curious about an inmates thoughts about their children while they're inside. Do they get to see their kids much? Are children a little afraid of Daddy during this time? And is this a sore topic that the average inmate avoids for survival's sake?
I've strated a site for men, about men. And not any frilly bullshit. So if your so inclined visit Masculiste in a couple weeks and voice your thoughts about men's issues.
December 31, 2003   05:22 AM PST
Boy was that letter something I didn't want to read. But I did. My Brother in Law was recently released from DOC to a half way house. where on his first day out got drunk and stoned and as of yesterday is now back in DOC. He's a slightly Feminine man. The time I did get to spend with him. He wasn't to interested in talking about his 20 months in DOC. which I totally understand!!! but then I read that letter. and MY GOD I sure hope he is/was lucky like you and got in good with someone like Unk.

Anyway Glad to see you got a good Review! Hopefully you will get more and more time off your sentence! All I gotta say is Don't fall to temptation when you do get out. Either with your nifty Anklet or if you get to a Halfway house. My Brother in Law now has to finish out his sentence which is not about 10 1/2 years. Anyway Keep on bloggin!!! and hope you have a Wonderful New year!!
December 30, 2003   07:55 PM PST
terribly deep Alon.. I sat here in silence for the longest time before i decided I had too type.
Its no big secret "about prison sex" its just that people tend to joke about it more often then seriously consider that it actually happens... (you know the usual don't bend over in jail crap) I feel ashamed to be in a world where society disowns those who are incarcerated, sure rapist, molesters,murders etc deserve to be locked up away from Society, but then theres certain crimes that even though they should still be reformed and punished in some way for their wrongdoings, I don;t believe they deserve the same punishment as say a child molestor or murder.
it seems that most criminals seem to come out way worse off then before they went in..I think Jp's story gives us a good example as to why...
Also it seems Very few have goals , or dreams they truly cling too and go forward and utilise. Obviously you got lucky in many ways that your jail had a reform, rehabilative system set up to help people who truly wanted to do better. But how many of you will actually go forth and make it.. I believe you will, you seem to have the right attitude and seem to desire a better life so desperately..
However I also believe less than 10% of reformed inmates will ever actually stay reformed ..
Its a hard world we live in an even harder one for those locked up...
Jp did stupid things in life to get him a term in prison and by the sounds of it hes probably not going to make it or hes going to end up so hardened and bitter his life won't be worth a crap anyways.. I truly hope he does make it and gets all the help he can possibly get once he's released...
he never should have been treated nor abused the way he was.. basically hes right in saying hes been sentenced twice once by the "true laws of our land" and again by prison laws.
He's now a victim of one of the most heinous crimes known to man, I feel terrible for him and everyone before him.. The system needs to change , it needs to prevent this kind of atrocity happening and needs to take responsibility for when it does and has...
Skittles.. (sorry to stick my nose in)
Your brother has to WANT help and WANT to get well.. acoholism is a disease not a choice..
I'm sure Alon and many others could offer him words of encouragement and wisdom but he truly has to want to hear them for them to mean anything to him.. I wish him and you the best of luck!
Kitty Muck
December 30, 2003   07:44 PM PST
Hey Alon, I read the whole of your blog tonite or shall i say thismorning... It was a great inspiration, I have been entranced reading it for over an hour. This entry in itself has brought me to tears and shivers down my spine. I think anyone who reads this will learn to appreciate our safety and life itself. Anyway, Sending my love, hope you are okay today and for the rest of the holidays. May God look after you.
kitty xxx (13, from england)
December 30, 2003   06:38 PM PST
That's horrible what happened to JP. It's even worse to think that this act --rape --is done quite regularly, in and out of jail. I'm also astonished that someone can be so cruel as to not get the unfortunate victim help. My deepest sympathies to him, and everyone else ever effected by it.

I've only recently found this blog, and what I've seen so far I like. I'll definitely be an avid reader from this point out; what you write is indirectly mentoring me, and I'm sure it's a positive effect. :-)

Have a great New Year!
December 30, 2003   01:49 PM PST
I know that this really shouldn't concern you, but I was wondering if maybe you could lend some words of advice for my brother. See, he's a 26 year old avid alcoholic. His drinking problem has gotten worse over the years since our brother was murdered and it has also landed him in jail more times than I can count on my fingers. There are other things that got him into jail, but that's because of stupid decisions. Now, he's currently in jail for violating probation and for some other things.

Anyhow, the point that I'm trying to make is that maybe you could help me help my brother clean up his act by lending some of your words and knowledge. He's extremely smart and has his dreams, but he likes to go to clubs much to often to drink with his friends. He's lost many jobs because of background checks and hangovers. I used to be proud of him, but now I'm just ashamed. I can't help him anymore because I don't think he'll let me.
December 30, 2003   11:42 AM PST
that's very disturbing
December 30, 2003   05:21 AM PST
Damn. I will.
December 30, 2003   01:16 AM PST
You're such an inspiration Alon, everytime i read you i am more aware of the world. You always hear about those sorts of things going on but to read about it so bluntly like that is really an eye opener.
Friday's Child
December 29, 2003   03:31 PM PST
My heart goes out to JP and to those that suffer the same abuse. Once again I am reminded of the miracle that I did not have to go to prison for surely - being tiny - I might have suffered the same fate. Society "knows" this sort of thing happens in prison but like so many other things in life if it doesn't touch one personally we push it back in our minds. My prayers, as sub-standard as they are are always offered for all those who suffer in one form or another.

God advise - don't drink and drive. I simply don't drink.

A New Year is pending and my wishes for you, Alon, are peace of mind, the tenacity to continue your path and some gladness in your heart that you have the potential not just to survive once you are free but to thrive! Lots of us believe in you, Alon! Happy New Year, hun.
December 29, 2003   01:37 PM PST
As I read that statement - even the quiet dropped silent, and my blood run cold.
Prayers - are always given - perhaps theres a need to intensify those prayers..., for this guy, those like him and concerned selfless men like you, Alon. May God bless you.

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